This Thanksgiving morning, I woke up, and while lying in bed, I began to go through the list of things I am thankful for this year. There are so many of them, and they are deep… heavy, even. My life has been transforming itself, and this year has been on full speed, and I have perimenopause to thank.

I am thankful for perimenopausal anxiety. This anxiety brought me to my knees a few years ago. I was overwhelmed (I’m talking panic attacks) by the human tragedy I saw in my neighborhood in San Francisco. This pushed me to seek help and find an incredible therapist. Through working together, I began to untangle the trauma of growing up in a toxic family system, and eventually, I began to detach myself from it. This perimenopausal anxiety that I once thought was tearing me apart taught me that I needed to create boundaries, it taught me to know when to walk away, it taught me how to truly care for myself. I am now experiencing an emotional freedom I never thought possible.

I am thankful for perimenopause teaching me the power of saying “No.” No when I don’t want to do something, no to when I am too tired, and no when something instinctively feels wrong. The moment I began to honor this, I became empowered. I never could have done this in my 30’s or even early 40’s. It’s been such a gift for me.

I am thankful for learning to take time alone. Like most women, I never valued this before and would crumble under the requests of friends or family who wanted me there when I could barely be there for myself. Perimenopause taught me that time alone is necessary to bring beauty into this world. It’s a requirement for me now, not a luxury.

I am thankful for perimenopause teaching me the beauty of my own life story. I’ve done some interesting things in my life, and have worked hard and had some difficult struggles. Now, instead of looking at all these events as things that happened to me, I know they are part of what makes me who I am - a beautiful woven tapestry. I’m not afraid to hide my past anymore or pretend I’m someone I’m not, as I know my life has made me who I am, and I love the woman I have become.

I am thankful for perimenopause for showing me the beauty of middle aged women. When I sit across from a friend at lunch, or am Zooming with a coaching client, I see the inner strength and wisdom that perimenopause brings. It’s special, and I now appreciate the groundedness that comes with time. And in these other women, I see my own strength reflected.

One of my favorite Grateful Dead songs puts it perfectly: Once in a while, you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

What gifts has perimenopause brought you this year? Instead of buying into the fear mongering and medicalization of this transformative time of life, take a moment and a deep breath. Think about how you’ve grown. Stand in the power and keep up the good work.

 Wishing you the happiest of holidays.

Françoise