Because of the pressure society puts on us, we expect our bodies and lives to be “perfect” at all times. This level of perfection starts when we are young, and is easier to strive for until midlife. Up until about 40, we are willing to do whatever it takes and give a situation all our energy to achieve the veneer of perfection. By the time perimenopause rolls around, we start to realize that we are not perfect, and that can be shattering to our sense of self and stability. 

The Wild Woman Within

It’s a fact though: we are not perfect. We are not meant to be perfect, and we should not strive to be perfect, as we will only set ourselves up for frustration. What if we stopped striving for this? During perimenopause, women often compare themselves to who they were at 35. Think about this for a moment - do you truly want to be the person you were at 35? This would include who you were emotionally and spiritually. What if we embraced the wild woman that we are at our core, the one who lives with abandon and faces her fears head on? This is the wild woman whose self-worth isn't dependent on the opinions of others. This woman is grounded in the calmness of inner-knowing. She feels more than she thinks. She is intuitive. She knows beauty comes from being in connection and attunement to ones self. This wild woman comes to us as the reward from walking an embodied path during perimenopause. She is POWERFUL! Try to lean into this and find this pat of yourself, rather than scrutinize yourself and wish wistfully for the younger self in the mid 30's.

Change is Constant

Life is about change. We all grow older from the day we were born. Our bodies and will always be in constant change, just as anything in nature is. If we can let go of perfection as an obtainable goal, we take so much pressure off of ourselves and can view ourselves in a new light.

The Way Forward

What if we let go of our ideas of being perfect and just allowed ourselves to see ourselves for who we are right now? We can focus improvement in our lives now and going forward, without looking back at the past for a reference point. 

The way of our journey is forward, not backwards. One of my favorite ways to work with perfectionism is by using affirmations. Here is one to start: I honor who I was in the past. I embrace the woman I am becoming. I welcome her wisdom, beauty, and self-possession into my life in all aspects. 

Also, spending time in nature, look at the trees, the animals, whatever you have access to. The plants aren't busy trying to be perfect. They are simply being plants, doing plant things.  

Perfection is an illusion, but authenticity and self-compassion are within reach—embrace the ever-changing journey of becoming, honor the wisdom that comes with growth, and allow yourself to simply be, just as nature so effortlessly teaches us.